The Other Vlad Dracula
Vlad II Dracul, “The Dragon”, had two sons named Vlad. Let’s meet the other one.
Vlad II, son of Vlad I the Usurper, Prince of Wallachia, joined the Order of the Dragon in 1431 and became known as Vlad Dracul, or Vlad The Dragon. He then had more children than I’m willing to feed: five total legitimate issues by two wives are recorded. Only the male children managed to get themselves a Wikipedia entry, fancy that?
One of the children you’ve heard of: Vlad III, otherwise known as Vlad the Impaler, commonly known as Dracula. But hark! The term “Dracula” means “Son of the Dragon,” or “Little Dragon.” So, with five children, there’s five little dragons flapping about the castle at any time, impaling mice and learning valuable lessons about sharing.
That’s all well and good. There’s Vlad Dracula, Radu Dracula, the girl one, Mircea Dracula, and… wait, another Vlad?
What, is this Medieval Newhart?
The highest-paying job in Romania better be royal genealogist.
The fourth brother, who let’s remember, is technically also Vlad Dracula, was distinguished from his elder same-named brother by being dubbed Vlad Călugărul, or Vlad the Monk. Some sources suggest that he was an actual monk and/or priest in his youth, though it’s hard to find info on his monastic order or where he took up such holy work (are you in the know? Please comment!). It seems he did at least dress in the clothes of a monk’s order; it has been suggested in some quarters that he did so to avoid being marked by his ambitious brothers and other strivers for death, as he could be a claimant to the turbulent Wallachian throne. It’s a solid ploy, exercised by no less than Eric Idle when he had to dodge murderous mob bosses, the police, and a vicious ex.
But Vlad The Other Dracula eventually did land on the throne, after his other brothers died. Patience has its merits, however, and he ended up reigning longer than his more famous brother ever did. He also ruled over a slightly less chaotic time than his brothers and certainly didn’t ruthlessly slaughter nearly as many people — foreign or his own — as his more famous brothers Dracula did.
He also built the beautiful St. Nicholas Church in Brasov, so even if he was impersonating a priest in his youth, maybe that — and the lack of all the impaling and throat cutting and burning whole villages — set him right with God.
But, god dammit, the head doesn’t fall far from the corpse, because Vlad Călugărul — who remember was also kinda Vlad Dracula — what does this guy go and do? HE HAS TWO SONS AND NAMES THEM BOTH VLAD!
And with that, the Romanian Genealogical Society committed mass suicide.
By all accounts Off Brand Vlad Dracula died a peaceful death, which is better than can be said for most of his family.
The lesson? Be pious or at least pretend to be, stay out of the way until the ambitious people flame out, manage things nicely, maybe tithe to charity, and die in a bed of old age. AND DON’T GIVE TWO OF YOUR KIDS THE SAME NAME YOU ALREADY HAVE YOU UNIMAGINATIVE NINNYHAMMER!
Toothpickings is a blog that you can read. It is generally about vampires. Stefan is not a traditional Turkish name but the gag was already enough of a reach.
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Image sources: Wikimedia Commons, MTM Enterprises, HandMade Films, Timely Comics
